Strong and Tough

Something I've been thinking about lately is how being strong and being tough really aren't the same thing. They sometimes get used interchangeably, but I don't think that's accurate. At least, not the way they are often used to describe people.

People who claim to be tough often mean they are impervious to whatever life throws at them. All the metaphorical falls or kicks in the face.  But no one is truly unaffected, so what they're really doing is pushing down or denying how they are affected in order to be "tough," which I'm sure they perceive as being strong.

I once heard that something that is impervious doesn't need to be strong because it can't change anyway. Isn't that fascinating?! 

Imperviousness doesn't make you strong. It could even be considered a sign of weakness. Though I don't believe that's true. I think it's one of many unhealthy coping mechanisms. But how easy is it to trick ourselves into thinking that by not feeling we are being strong?

But the truth is, you don't have to be unaffected in order to be strong. Being strong means you can face what life throws at you. Being strong means you can do hard things. When you fall, you get back up. When you get kicked in the face, you put on an ice pack and keep going. You might need to have a meltdown first, but that's ok. Being strong doesn't mean it's easy or that you put on a brave face through everything, or even that you look graceful doing it.

When depression makes you want to stay in bed all day, but you get up and go to work anyway.

When your kids try your patience but you work at being gentle anyway.

When you do things scared.

When you show kindness to someone who has been unkind to you.

When you own your mistakes and try to do better.

You are being strong. And you're probably so much stronger than you realize.