Grief

This may look familiar to some people since I posted it on Facebook shortly before starting this blog. I wanted to share it here, too.

I've been thinking about grief.

A coworker of mine recently lost his sister - she had chronic health issues. I remember the day he got the news he was very emotional. The week or so after that, he was noticeably subdued. Now he seems basically normal - as in, more like before his sister passed.

It reminds me of the time after my brother died, the time after my dad died. How, regardless how I may have looked to others, I was far from ok, far from normal. And it's such a strange feeling, walking around in a haze of grief while everyone else is just carrying on like life is normal.

But you have to keep going, right? You have to keep living, going to school, going to work, doing the dishes, feeding the cat, yada yada. The world keeps on moving even though your whole world has changed. In an instant, absolutely nothing will ever be the same again. And anyone who has grieved the loss of a loved one knows, it never goes away, it never really gets smaller.

But here's the thing. It DOES get easier to carry. 
Eventually, the good days outnumber the bad days, you find your new normal, and this grief you carry becomes part of who you are. A scar more than a gaping wound. Not gone - forever changing the landscape of your heart, but still allowing it to function at full capacity.

But it takes time. And how long a time is different for everyone. So be gentle and patient with yourself. Allow yourself to grieve, but don't be afraid to keep moving and keep living. You'll get there.