Comparisons

Comparison is EVIL. Seriously.

Raise your hand if you tend to compare yourself to others.

Why aren't my curls as smooth as hers? She's thinner than I am. Is he smarter than I am? I'm not as good at [fill in the blank] as they are.

And a million other things - probably in ways we don't even realize.

I'm a religious person. I believe in God and Jesus Christ. I believe in honoring the law and in standing up for what is right. I know that the only standard that matters, the only one I should be trying to live up to, is to emulate my Savior. I also know that my Heavenly Father does not expect me to be perfect in this lifetime. He only wants me to try, to make good choices and to love my neighbor.

I know this.

Even so, I still have this horrible habit of comparing myself to others. Occasionally, it feeds my pride, and I get humbled along the way. But most of the time, I find myself lacking.

There's an objective part of my brain that knows I'm being too hard on myself, that I'm being unfair in those comparisons. But the emotional part of my brain is not getting the memo. So I end up thinking, I suck at this, my efforts don't count because this other person does it better, etc. I could go on and on.

And, I mean, really. It's ridiculously unfair. Most of us don't think that way about others. We look at the work of ten different artists and we have favorites among them, but all are beautiful. We don't think our one or two favorites are the only ones of value. 

But that's exactly what we are doing to ourselves when we compare. That person's [whatever] is better than mine, therefore mine isn't worth as much or worth anything.

Just like having favorites among ten different works of art, we will each have different favorites. I like this one. You like that one. Joe likes this other one. That doesn't mean we don't see the beauty and appreciate the others.

It's important for us to see the beauty and appreciate ourselves as much as we do for other people.

It's one of those things I'm still learning how to do, fumbling along the way. I think it comes back to retraining the voice in our heads - change those comparisons into something positive. Try looking at yourself the way you would a friend, compliment yourself, be your own cheerleader. That seems like a good place to start.