Don't let comparison rob you of compassion

There is a difference between sharing a similar experience to someone in understanding, and sharing a similar experience in comparison.

For some of us, sharing a similar experience is how we express that we understand, at least a little, what you're going through. It's a sign of compassion and empathy. We're here with you in this struggle. We aren't trying to make it about us, or diminish whatever you are feeling. We are trying to help you carry that burden, or unpack that suitcase.

For some of us, it's a comparison. It is a way to diminish or even dismiss your feelings because we have/had it worse, so you shouldn't complain or whine about it. It might even be a way to make it about us, again dismissing your feelings as if ours are more important or significant somehow.

I've been on the receiving end of both. One is definitely better than the other. 

But I have learned a few things from experiencing both kinds of people.

I've learned that there is no valid comparison between what each of us struggle with. No matter how similar or different it may seem. My challenges do not diminish or accentuate yours. Yours don't do so to mine. The end.

I've also learned that you can be frustrated, unhappy, or even angry about whatever opposition or adversity you're experiencing AND be grateful at the same time. Grateful that its not worse, grateful for whatever is giving you strength and courage to face it and deal with it. Gratitude doesn't equal no negative feelings or thoughts about something hard in your life.

And I've learned that you can be upset about your own challenges and still feel compassion for someone else's. There will always be someone who "has it worse" - that does not mean you have no right to feel bad about your own suffering. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

Don't let a comparison mentality rob you of compassion. We all need compassion. We all need to receive it. We all need to give it - to others and to ourselves.