Rest

My dad used to tell me, "a change is as good as a rest."

It was his way of saying that if one task was getting tiresome, that you don't have to do nothing, just switch to a different task. (He was all about being productive.) And sometimes, maybe all you need is a change. But, most of the time, we need legitimate rest. And not just physical rest.

Most of us, if we have a broken leg, we will use the crutches and keep off that leg to give it the rest it needs to repair. We know that the consequence of not doing so can prevent us from healing and regaining our strength and ability to walk.

For example, I hurt my back last week. I've had to do a lot more sitting and lying down than usual. I've had to take meds for the pain. I've had to be very careful with any physical exertion so I don't make it worse. 

And it got me thinking, do we do the same for our minds and our hearts?

We can't continuously power through everything. We need to listen to our bodies and our minds and take a break. Stop the rush and the noise. Recharge in the stillness and the quiet. 

Taking time to recover, heal, recharge - it's not wasting time. It's necessary.

How you made them feel

I learned so many great lessons from my mom. Even now that she's gone, I feel like I'm still learning from her and the example she was.

I was thinking about my mom this morning. Many years ago, my parents served a mission for our church and served on a cattle and citrus ranch. Part of my mom's time was spent volunteering at the local elementary school. She worked one-on-one with some of the students to help them with subjects in which they were struggling.

I remember mom telling me how one boy she helped was almost failing math, but after working with her, he was passing with a good grade. She was so proud of him for his improvement, and proud of herself for being able to help him.

I was a little surprised because Mom was not good at math! She was, however, tolerant, kind, and almost unfailingly patient. These kiddos definitely benefited from her gentleness in helping with their schoolwork. I'm sure she helped them feel safe and unhurried, so they had time to really learn.

It just goes to show that patience and kindness can work wonders. 

Maya Angelou once said "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

You don't have to be an expert to help a child with math or spelling. And you don't have to have all the answers to help a friend going through a difficult time. You just need to be there - be a safe place by being patient, kind, and supportive. That will likely mean more than any expertise or advice, anyway.

Feeling safe and loved is powerful medicine. We all need it and we can all give it.

Awkward

I'm awkward. I'm not sure how much others notice it, but it's there and it's big. In fact, I've noticed lately that in my attempts to try to relate to people, it seems I end up just making them uncomfortable. But I also have no idea how to make that better. Because, well, awkward.

Ah, social anxiety, you evil beast! *shakes fist at the sky in futility*

Being the overthinking, analytical, introspective person I am, I'm always trying to figure this out. Why am I anxious in social situations? Why is it so hard to connect with people? How can I help myself not feel so awkward?

Yeah, I don't know. *shrug*

I'm sure the educated objectivity of a therapist would help. Until then, I keep trying. 

There are times the anxiety is too much and I just can't deal, but I do try. I go to a game night once a month. I go to church. I go to work. I try to hang out with friends. Try to support people with important events. I dont always manage it and when I do, I'm usually feeling awkward and out of place the whole time. It can be taxing and exhausting and even scary. But I try anyway. 

I think a lot of us try. And I think it can be easy to devalue the bravery in that - in doing things scared, in doing things that are hard. Because it is brave to be scared and do it anyway. Even if it's something as "simple" as making a phone call. Even if we feel super weird and awkward.

So let's give ourselves a pat on the back. Let's give ourselves credit and give ourselves a break. 

There is value and bravery in trying.