Strong and Tough

Something I've been thinking about lately is how being strong and being tough really aren't the same thing. They sometimes get used interchangeably, but I don't think that's accurate. At least, not the way they are often used to describe people.

People who claim to be tough often mean they are impervious to whatever life throws at them. All the metaphorical falls or kicks in the face.  But no one is truly unaffected, so what they're really doing is pushing down or denying how they are affected in order to be "tough," which I'm sure they perceive as being strong.

I once heard that something that is impervious doesn't need to be strong because it can't change anyway. Isn't that fascinating?! 

Imperviousness doesn't make you strong. It could even be considered a sign of weakness. Though I don't believe that's true. I think it's one of many unhealthy coping mechanisms. But how easy is it to trick ourselves into thinking that by not feeling we are being strong?

But the truth is, you don't have to be unaffected in order to be strong. Being strong means you can face what life throws at you. Being strong means you can do hard things. When you fall, you get back up. When you get kicked in the face, you put on an ice pack and keep going. You might need to have a meltdown first, but that's ok. Being strong doesn't mean it's easy or that you put on a brave face through everything, or even that you look graceful doing it.

When depression makes you want to stay in bed all day, but you get up and go to work anyway.

When your kids try your patience but you work at being gentle anyway.

When you do things scared.

When you show kindness to someone who has been unkind to you.

When you own your mistakes and try to do better.

You are being strong. And you're probably so much stronger than you realize.

Water & Salt

"We go together like water and salt"

I know it's not a saying, but it totally should be. It doesn't sound romantic or even friendly at first, but stick with me here... because I have reasons, and they're good ones.

Saltwater is naturally occurring and covers over 70% of the Earth. It's full of life -  not just the plants and animals that live in the water, but also the oxygen that is produced for all us animals that live on land.

Water and salt sustain life. All plants and animals need water to survive. Humans (and I think most living creatures, maybe even plants, I'm no expert) need some amount of sodium as well. It's what helps our bodies retain the water we drink and can provide trace nutrients that are good for our bodies.

Salt is the spice of life. Have you ever had eggs without salt? Or a steak or veggies? Even sweet desserts have a little salt to balance and bring out the other flavors. How boring and bland would our food be without salt?!

Water is the base for cleaning almost anything, too. Not only does it keep us alive, it helps keep us clean and healthy.

Salt, while it's essential for people, is deadly to most bacteria. So it makes food taste better and makes it safer and healthier.

And think of what happens when you add salt to water. It dissolves from its crystal form and blends with the water seemlessly. But here's the important part - they don't become each other. You still have salt and water. You could boil the water out and you would still have salt while the water turns to steam. It would be different, sure, but it would still be salt and water. Separate and individual from each other, even if they were changed by each other.

So, yeah. It may not be the most eloquent or poetic sounding. But wouldn't you want that kind of relationship? Whether it's romantic, platonic, professional, or whatever kind of relationship.  Two things that are so complementary and so vital to life are good things to compare it to.

We go together like water and salt.

Let's make it a thing. 😉

Rest

My dad used to tell me, "a change is as good as a rest."

It was his way of saying that if one task was getting tiresome, that you don't have to do nothing, just switch to a different task. (He was all about being productive.) And sometimes, maybe all you need is a change. But, most of the time, we need legitimate rest. And not just physical rest.

Most of us, if we have a broken leg, we will use the crutches and keep off that leg to give it the rest it needs to repair. We know that the consequence of not doing so can prevent us from healing and regaining our strength and ability to walk.

For example, I hurt my back last week. I've had to do a lot more sitting and lying down than usual. I've had to take meds for the pain. I've had to be very careful with any physical exertion so I don't make it worse. 

And it got me thinking, do we do the same for our minds and our hearts?

We can't continuously power through everything. We need to listen to our bodies and our minds and take a break. Stop the rush and the noise. Recharge in the stillness and the quiet. 

Taking time to recover, heal, recharge - it's not wasting time. It's necessary.